Yepper, I can't sleep.
There's way too much going on in my mind. It's like a motor that has a never-ending supply of gas. *urgh*
First of all.. I have a saddening news. It is off. The wedding is off. The engagement is off. Please, please, please do not be asking. I do not want to explain it. It is a long story. And out of respect for him, I am not going to detail anything, except that there is no wedding. Between him and I, for that matter. The reason for this information is more and more people are learning of this fact day to day. I decided to share so everyone who reads this blog will know for once. No explanation, ok?
Anyways.. I cannot sleep. There is so much going on. And I truly am looking forward to this semester even so more! Weird, after such an emotional drain before coming back to Gallaudet this semester, I thought I would not be able to face anything or anyone here. But praise the Lord! The Lord has given me the strength I need and joy and peace.
Pray for a revival to come to Gallaudet! It is long over-due and it will be the best one EVER! Pray that people see that Christian are just people like they are, that Christian does not mean perfection, that we all make mistakes. Pray that the Lord will touch every heart here at Gallaudet.
Like Paul said, (Romans 1:16)
"I am not ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ, for it is the power of God to bring everyone to salvation." (ASL Paraphrase)
For a couple more of translations:
New Living Translation: (Romans 1:16-17)
"For I am not ashamed of this Good News about Christ. It is the power of God at work, saving everyone who believes—the Jew first and also the Gentile. This Good News tells us how God makes us right in his sight. This is accomplished from start to finish by faith. As the Scriptures say, “It is through faith that a righteous person has life.“"
New King James Version: (Romans 1:16-17)
"For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ,for it is the power of God to salvation for everyone who believes, for the Jew first and also for the Greek. For in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith to faith; as it is written, “The just shall live by faith.”"
What exactly do we have to be ashamed of? If we were ashamed of Jesus, then what good is our faith? What is the point of calling ourselves Christian if we were ashamed of Jesus?
If we are not ashamed, then why do we not share the gospel of Jesus Christ?
That is up to you to decide.
You have been given freely, the salvation, the gift of Jesus Christ. Do you keep it for yourself? Joy only comes when you give freely as well. Freely give the love, the grace, the joy and the peace Jesus have given to you.
Jesus loves you, and wants you to choose Him because only with Him, you will have the full peace and full joy. Only with Him, you are able to experience life fully. Jesus fills the emptyness of your heart.
At Alpha tonight, I remembered what I felt before I asked Jesus to forgive me and take me as His child.
I remember feeling empty, even though I enjoyed my friends, doing what they were doing. I never felt satisfied, always wanting more. But my friends had nothing more to offer.
Only then when I found Jesus, I experienced this overwhelming peace, joy and fullness of life. I did not feel alone anymore, I did not feel empty, and I certainly did not feel uncertain.
There is nothing in the whole world I could do to make myself satisfied. It is only a free gift from Son of God (Yahweh) that could fully meet all my needs.
Whoever reads this blog, I pray that you take this in thoughtfully and I encourage you to examine your own life. Are you still looking for something to fill in that emptyness in your heart? Are you trying different things to get rid of that emptyness? What is it exactly that is missing in your life? Just think about that.
I pray that you find it.
Mucho Amore!
Dios Bendiga!!!!!! <3
_\m/
K
26 January, 2010
14 January, 2010
Am I still young?
Am I old enough? <---I think this question is wrong. We should be asking ourselves, ---> "Am I still young?"
Just a question.
I was looking back on my old blogs, and I could see that I have grown a lot. You know, when a baby stop looking like a baby. My second niece, Rayne, looked like a baby when I left for Gallaudet. I got back and now when I look at her I see a little girl. Rayne does not look like a baby anymore. This is what happened to me. For the past 4 years, I have grown from a baby to a little child.
Nearly 3 years ago, I was so rearing to move out to the mission field, because that is what the Lord has put in my heart. However, the Lord knew I needed some (a lot) training first. Over the time, I have received the training I needed by life's experiences. Then now, to be completely honest, I am still wanting to go RIGHT NOW, then at the same time, the reality of life around the world comes to my face, taunting me. I can feel fear rise. Know what? When the Lord calls, He calls. Why do we let the fear of the world control us? "What would people think?"
If the Lord told me right now to leave my family and home, and to go to the field RIGHT NOW. What would I think? What would YOU think? "But I have school." "But I have work." "But I am afraid." "But my friends suggest to not go." "But," "But," "But...."
We like to say Buts, or should I say "Butts". Heh.
I will let you know, there's no butts about it. When the Lord calls, He calls. Your answer will determine your future, and that shows how committed you are to the Lord, your Master.
Know this though, when the Lord calls, He shows you the future, does not always mean RIGHT NOW. Sometimes we are still so young, we need to learn to take a step first, then we would be able to run. We cannot run without learning to walk.
I have seen and experienced first hand, running without learning to walk first. I can tell you, the stumble is not so pretty. I jumped ahead without waiting to hear from the Lord first. Yes, He has called me to the mission field, He has put in my heart the deep desire to serve others, and I have jumped. Thankfully, the Lord sent me people to teach me to walk first. I have come up from stumbles with scratches and bruises, but these scratches and bruises taught me well, only because of Jesus.
When the Lord calls, He calls. As you grow, you will know His voice better and clearer. And that is when He calls, if and when He says NOW, you will know.
"Am I still young?" I would say, "Yes." That's not a bad thing, it just means I still have a lot to learn. A lot more growing to do. It does not matter how many years you have got in Christ, you are still young. You still have a lot to learn too. It is how you grow.
Love you all!
_\m/
K
Just a question.
I was looking back on my old blogs, and I could see that I have grown a lot. You know, when a baby stop looking like a baby. My second niece, Rayne, looked like a baby when I left for Gallaudet. I got back and now when I look at her I see a little girl. Rayne does not look like a baby anymore. This is what happened to me. For the past 4 years, I have grown from a baby to a little child.
Nearly 3 years ago, I was so rearing to move out to the mission field, because that is what the Lord has put in my heart. However, the Lord knew I needed some (a lot) training first. Over the time, I have received the training I needed by life's experiences. Then now, to be completely honest, I am still wanting to go RIGHT NOW, then at the same time, the reality of life around the world comes to my face, taunting me. I can feel fear rise. Know what? When the Lord calls, He calls. Why do we let the fear of the world control us? "What would people think?"
If the Lord told me right now to leave my family and home, and to go to the field RIGHT NOW. What would I think? What would YOU think? "But I have school." "But I have work." "But I am afraid." "But my friends suggest to not go." "But," "But," "But...."
We like to say Buts, or should I say "Butts". Heh.
I will let you know, there's no butts about it. When the Lord calls, He calls. Your answer will determine your future, and that shows how committed you are to the Lord, your Master.
Know this though, when the Lord calls, He shows you the future, does not always mean RIGHT NOW. Sometimes we are still so young, we need to learn to take a step first, then we would be able to run. We cannot run without learning to walk.
I have seen and experienced first hand, running without learning to walk first. I can tell you, the stumble is not so pretty. I jumped ahead without waiting to hear from the Lord first. Yes, He has called me to the mission field, He has put in my heart the deep desire to serve others, and I have jumped. Thankfully, the Lord sent me people to teach me to walk first. I have come up from stumbles with scratches and bruises, but these scratches and bruises taught me well, only because of Jesus.
When the Lord calls, He calls. As you grow, you will know His voice better and clearer. And that is when He calls, if and when He says NOW, you will know.
"Am I still young?" I would say, "Yes." That's not a bad thing, it just means I still have a lot to learn. A lot more growing to do. It does not matter how many years you have got in Christ, you are still young. You still have a lot to learn too. It is how you grow.
Love you all!
_\m/
K
09 January, 2010
A reflection
Here I am sitting at Borders. Supposedly to be working on my Sunday School message for church tomorrow morning. Yet, I'm distracted by lessons I have learned for past 3 months away from home.
It was not easy, I can say that for sure. I have fallen and scrapped my knees hard, getting my nose punched, and trying to hide my wounds.
I am still hiding them, but I will only show the wounds to the Lord because He is the one who knows all how it felt.
I learned that life is NOT what it seems. I have heard that many times before I left home, yet I had to learn it myself by experiencing it. I hate it. Yet I love knowing it because it makes me grow up more.
Sure I have looked at others and be jealous of what they had. But know what? I should not be jealous at all, even the Lord said to not be jealous. I have Jesus, maybe most of others don't have Jesus. What does that say? Jesus is the King of kings! He owns EVERYTHING. Therefore, with Jesus I have everything I need!
I was supposed to be getting on with my life, yet, I feel like it was on a pause for a reason. Now, I am unpausing it, getting on with my life. Maybe a little different than how I had wanted it, but that's ok! My life is going to be CRAZY from here on! Those who wants to keep up, better start running now, so they could keep up with me! Hahaha! I certainly will be sharing what all the craziness will happen in the short future and whenever I can!
Right now, I am feeling a little frustrated because I am not getting what I wanted, but, again, that's ok. I am letting it go, let the Lord take the lead, after all, He is the King! He is my Daddy, He will make everything ok. I am a child, simply trusting in her Daddy. Jesus did say, "Unless you become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven." So, let's become like children, simply trusting in our Daddy!
Yet, after all this, I am very hopeful. Expecting wonderful things that I will not expect. I know I will be surprised by surprises after surprises! I am getting very excited thinking about this! *SMILES*
I am praying for all my loved ones who are going through difficult times. You know who you are, and please be reminded of Romans 8:28 "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose."
No matter how difficult things get, God will bring something good out of it. I LOVE YOU!
Though I might not understand exactly how you are feeling or what you are going through, KNOW this, Jesus does understand. He experienced the WORST suffering any man could have ever experienced. He is with you always, walking you through this valley of pain, of shadow of death. Be comforted in His presence and in His word.
I better get going and work on my Sunday School message, before I allow myself to get distracted again.
I leave you with a word from Paul:
2 Corinthians 4:16-18
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day.
For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory,
while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal."
_\m/
K
It was not easy, I can say that for sure. I have fallen and scrapped my knees hard, getting my nose punched, and trying to hide my wounds.
I am still hiding them, but I will only show the wounds to the Lord because He is the one who knows all how it felt.
I learned that life is NOT what it seems. I have heard that many times before I left home, yet I had to learn it myself by experiencing it. I hate it. Yet I love knowing it because it makes me grow up more.
Sure I have looked at others and be jealous of what they had. But know what? I should not be jealous at all, even the Lord said to not be jealous. I have Jesus, maybe most of others don't have Jesus. What does that say? Jesus is the King of kings! He owns EVERYTHING. Therefore, with Jesus I have everything I need!
I was supposed to be getting on with my life, yet, I feel like it was on a pause for a reason. Now, I am unpausing it, getting on with my life. Maybe a little different than how I had wanted it, but that's ok! My life is going to be CRAZY from here on! Those who wants to keep up, better start running now, so they could keep up with me! Hahaha! I certainly will be sharing what all the craziness will happen in the short future and whenever I can!
Right now, I am feeling a little frustrated because I am not getting what I wanted, but, again, that's ok. I am letting it go, let the Lord take the lead, after all, He is the King! He is my Daddy, He will make everything ok. I am a child, simply trusting in her Daddy. Jesus did say, "Unless you become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven." So, let's become like children, simply trusting in our Daddy!
Yet, after all this, I am very hopeful. Expecting wonderful things that I will not expect. I know I will be surprised by surprises after surprises! I am getting very excited thinking about this! *SMILES*
I am praying for all my loved ones who are going through difficult times. You know who you are, and please be reminded of Romans 8:28 "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose."
No matter how difficult things get, God will bring something good out of it. I LOVE YOU!
Though I might not understand exactly how you are feeling or what you are going through, KNOW this, Jesus does understand. He experienced the WORST suffering any man could have ever experienced. He is with you always, walking you through this valley of pain, of shadow of death. Be comforted in His presence and in His word.
I better get going and work on my Sunday School message, before I allow myself to get distracted again.
I leave you with a word from Paul:
2 Corinthians 4:16-18
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day.
For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory,
while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal."
_\m/
K
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