Am I old enough? <---I think this question is wrong. We should be asking ourselves, ---> "Am I still young?"
Just a question.
I was looking back on my old blogs, and I could see that I have grown a lot. You know, when a baby stop looking like a baby. My second niece, Rayne, looked like a baby when I left for Gallaudet. I got back and now when I look at her I see a little girl. Rayne does not look like a baby anymore. This is what happened to me. For the past 4 years, I have grown from a baby to a little child.
Nearly 3 years ago, I was so rearing to move out to the mission field, because that is what the Lord has put in my heart. However, the Lord knew I needed some (a lot) training first. Over the time, I have received the training I needed by life's experiences. Then now, to be completely honest, I am still wanting to go RIGHT NOW, then at the same time, the reality of life around the world comes to my face, taunting me. I can feel fear rise. Know what? When the Lord calls, He calls. Why do we let the fear of the world control us? "What would people think?"
If the Lord told me right now to leave my family and home, and to go to the field RIGHT NOW. What would I think? What would YOU think? "But I have school." "But I have work." "But I am afraid." "But my friends suggest to not go." "But," "But," "But...."
We like to say Buts, or should I say "Butts". Heh.
I will let you know, there's no butts about it. When the Lord calls, He calls. Your answer will determine your future, and that shows how committed you are to the Lord, your Master.
Know this though, when the Lord calls, He shows you the future, does not always mean RIGHT NOW. Sometimes we are still so young, we need to learn to take a step first, then we would be able to run. We cannot run without learning to walk.
I have seen and experienced first hand, running without learning to walk first. I can tell you, the stumble is not so pretty. I jumped ahead without waiting to hear from the Lord first. Yes, He has called me to the mission field, He has put in my heart the deep desire to serve others, and I have jumped. Thankfully, the Lord sent me people to teach me to walk first. I have come up from stumbles with scratches and bruises, but these scratches and bruises taught me well, only because of Jesus.
When the Lord calls, He calls. As you grow, you will know His voice better and clearer. And that is when He calls, if and when He says NOW, you will know.
"Am I still young?" I would say, "Yes." That's not a bad thing, it just means I still have a lot to learn. A lot more growing to do. It does not matter how many years you have got in Christ, you are still young. You still have a lot to learn too. It is how you grow.
Love you all!
_\m/
K
